All I Need
by Wolfebro
Summary: When you live in an empty world, with nothing but the clickers and the clothes on your back, you need something. Something to rely on and cherish for as long as you live. Ellie found what she needed. No matter how wrong it was for her companion, she wanted it. Co-written story with, HappyZompyresNeverDie (JoelxEllie) pairing.
1. Chapter 1

His heart skipped. That question destroyed their trust. Joel always lied to her, but this was the finisher. He felt his blood run cold with regret. He could go back now, but that will break her heart. "I swear." Something caught his voice. Ellie could see through his lie. "Okay." Joel's soul shattered instantaneously. He fucked up. His thoughts weren't coherent, he could only think about how he took the last thing Ellie had been fighting for. He thought to himself, he couldn't find anything for her. That was it. All she had was Tommy's "safe haven" and Joel.  
>He stood there, staring into the young girl's eyes. They weren't the bright emerald colour, they were dark. Almost like staring into the abyss of Her hatred.<br>"Ellie...I..." Joel stuttered, his throat failing to make more sound.  
>"Save it, I'm okay..." Ellie scrunched her nose, thinking if she should finish it or keep playing. She chose in a heartbeat. "...That you killed the last chance I had to make a difference." Ellie started to raise her voice, she knew that Tommy's group could hear her, but at this point, she could give two shits about Tommy.<br>"Ellie, I didn't want to be..." He didn't want to be the one to take her own decision, take it out back, and shoot it. But he couldn't finish before her.  
>"I'm not fuckin' finished!" Ellie shoved at his chest, harder than he expected.<br>"It wasn't just for me, it was for you, I care about you, you know that but..." He glared at the ground, after seeing tears in Ellie's eyes. He didn't want to cry in front of her.  
>"I didn't want another-" he was cut off.<br>"Another what? Another person's blood on your hands?!" Ellie swallowed hard after seeing Joel's facial expression.  
>"Ellie! Please..." He held his hand out, palm facing the ground. "Stay with me." Some how, he miraculously didn't shed not one tear. He kept assertive and dominant, which Ellie detested.<br>"Joel, I'm not leavin'. I got no where else to go." Ellie stepped closer to Joel, trying not to look too forgiving. "But you can't hide the fact that you lied to me. It doesn't matter if you've lied to me before, those were about small things, but this. You done fucked up." Joel smiled weakly at her last statement. He remembered her reading that in some comic he found while scavenging.  
>"Joel I know you only did what you wanted, and...I guess I love you too but..." The words slipped out of he lips swiftly , but was slow enough for Joel to make sense of.<br>"Oh, shit" Ellie muttered under her breath.

"What d'you just say?" Joel set his hand by his side.

Ellie tried to play it off, "I...I know you want a daughter, and I want a father so..." Ellie felt a bead of sweat roll down her neck and into the collar of her t-shirt.

Joel looked deeply into her eyes, her pupils were slightly dilated. He could see right through her.

"Ellie...Just stop. I know what you really mean." Joel wiped his face with his hand, before letting out a sigh. "We'll talk about it later."

Joel set off down the ledges and slopes, falling hard, thinking he could make the jump.

Ellie followed by his side, but things were still awkward.

Joel stole a glance at her and thought back to what she confessed to.

"Fuckin' teenagers..." He mumbled.

"Hey, I'm right here." Ellie stopped in her tracks, forcing Joel to turn and face her.

"Sorry." He sounded exhausted with the whole ordeal. Joel turned back around and proceeded to make his way to Tommy's "Little slice of heaven".

Joel and Ellie made it to Jackson. It was just how they remembered it, the towering walls, protecting them from the outer hell. They arrived at the gate and were not greeted with open arms.  
>Ellie's mind was left to wander and contemplate on the feelings she let slip from her throat. She knew she cared for her companion, but not to this extent. Joel cared for her, more than his own flesh and blood. More than even Tess. More than Nichole (his ex wife). He just couldn't bring himself to reality. She loved him. There is no way he can forget her confessions.<br>He didn't love her. Not yet at least. He couldn't, in his time it wasn't the norm to have a romantic relationship with a fourteen year old, when yourself is more than three times her age.

He couldn't let go of the past. He didn't want to. In a world where you have to kill clickers with broken scissors, and eat twenty year old peaches, it's hard to not cling onto the best, and most memorable, moments of your life.

Joel knocked fearfully against the metal gates. Not long after, two well armoured men, popped their heads up from their posts, displaying their faces covered up by red and black bandanna.s

"Look like hunters to me..." Ellie stated, moving to his side slowly and carefully, as to not look like she posed a threat to them.

Joel held onto her shoulder as she scooted closer to his side.

"Put down your weapons, now." The men at the guard post were especially calm, considering they could have been bandits or attackers against the group.

Joel raised his free hand in the air and unhooked his rifle from his bag, tossing it to the ground, small clouds of dust spreading away from it. He did the same for his revolver and his shotgun. He had left his assault rifle in the car.

"Good, now get on your knees and put your hands on your head." The other guard shifted his rifle against his shoulder, making sure he had a better aim.

"We were here before." Joel tried out his explanation, but knew they wouldn't just let them in.

The older guard picked his radio out of his chest pocket and turned the dial.

"Boss, I gotta old man and his daughter here at the gate. Sayin' they've been here before." Joel could hear the man on the receiving end of the radio.

"God damn it. Let him in. I'll meet ya there." Through the muffled and fuzzy sound of the radio, Joel and Ellie could recognise his voice.

"What about the kid?" Ellie pouted clearly at the man above her.  
>"Yeah, let her in as well." The man sounded regretful.<p>

After a moment of awkward waiting, a blonde, muscular man arrived at the gate. Upon his arrival, the gaurds let the gates open, sending a rusted screech through the air, inhabiting the victims eardrums.

"Joel." Tommy said with a slight rush in their meeting.

"Tommy." Joel nodded back at him.

"I said I didn't want you comin' back. What d'you need now?" Tommy wasn't too happy with them coming back.

"We, uh..." Joel rubbed the back of his neck. "We went to the fireflies and...there's no cure. Not any more." Joel was the best liar when it came to strangers, but to his own brother and in front of Ellie, he didn't hold up.

Tommy just nodded in response. "Well, looks like you gotta stay, now doesn't it?" Joel nudged Ellie's arm.

"Why don't you go find Maria." Joel tried to look innocent but failed.

"But-" Ellie tried to protest, but Joel was too quick.

"Go, I need to sort somethings out..." He glanced at Tommy.

_"Two confessions in one day..."_ Joel thought as Ellie left the two brothers to quarrel.


	2. Chapter 2

It didn't take long for them to get settled. After Joel and Tommy's small argument everything seemed to be okay. Well except the small problem that Tommy didn't really like the fact that Ellie still had cordyceps in her body. Joel took it upon himself to explain to Tommy what happened with the fireflies. But in the end, Tommy couldn't just let Joel and Ellie fend for themselves. So despite the fact of Ellie possibly spreading the infection, Tommy decided to let them stay.

After all the trouble, Joel and Ellie were just happy to be able to truly call somewhere home. Their house was actually better than they thought it would be. Joel was told that he and Ellie were lucky because this was the only house available that was completely fixed up. But it didn't matter to them, as long as they were together, Joel and Ellie were fine.

It had only been a few hours since they'd arrived but it was getting close to dark.

"I guess I better start on dinner " Joel said to himself. He took the rabbit that he caught earlier and put in the pan to warm up. A few minutes later it was done.

"Ellie?" Joel called up the stairs.

Ellie came running down the staircase. "What is it Joel."

"Dinner's ready." He gave her a weak smile and led her into the kitchen.

They ate in only sound to be heard was the noises of them eating. There was still some tension in the air from earlier. After Ellie's confession to Joel, things just didn't seem right. But the silence was killing both of them. Someone had to say something.

"So, uh, how ya likin' the house?" Joel finally spoke.

Ellie barely looked at him. "It's fine I guess." She said with little to no emotion. She stared down at her plate, it was suddenly the most interesting thing in the room.

After nearly an hour of silence and "eating", Joel and Ellie went their separate ways. Ellie went back upstairs to their room and Joel to Tommy's house.

* * *

><p>(Joel)<p>

After about an hour at Tommy's, Joel decided to head back home. The whole time he thought of nothing but Ellie. He couldn't believe he lied to her and got caught. He should have known that Ellie would see right through him. Now knowing that Ellie loved him, Joel had to make things right.

After a couple of minutes of walking, Joel finally made it back to their home. He assumed Ellie was reading in their room, so he waited outside of the house just in case she heard him thinking.

"Look, Ellie about earlier-" Joel thought he was just talking to himself, but he was clearly audible through the door and hollow walls, as Ellie opened the door, with a stern look on her face.

"What about earlier?" She acted so innocent , as if it were the social norm to confess your love to a forty-something year old.

"Uh...I...jus' wanted to...uh..." He didn't have enough time to think. He was always thinking about her, he was just lost for words.

"Let me guess, 'It ain't normal for you to love someone like me, it's jus' hormones'" Ellie mocked Joel's Texan accent, even though she loved it.

"Exactly ma' point!" Joel raised his voice, causing Ellie to jump back in shock.

"Joel you gotta understand, it isn't hormones! I ain't jus' some horny teenager that latches onto any guy that takes ma' fancy!" Ellie matched Joel's tone but added more volume.

"Ellie! Would ya keep ya damn mouth quiet?! Someone'll hear you!" Joel moved his hands down by his side while his fists turned white from the clenching.

"I don't give a fuck! Hey everybody! I'm in love with an old gu-" Ellie was cut off as Joel covered her mouth with is rough, sweaty hand.

"C'mon, talk 'bout it inside." And with that the door became the victim to a swift slamming.


	3. Chapter 3

Joel uncovered Ellie's mouth, after biting his hand in retaliation. Ellie took a few steps back from Joel, clearly looking pissed.

"Ellie, you know what I'm gonna say, so just quit it!" Joel said as he wiped his hand from the trails of saliva left.

"Because you're such an ass!" Ellie blurted, Pushing him back with great force. The whole ordeal was so similar to the last time they argued at Tommy's. Joel was hoping not to cross that bridge again.

"Ellie, I don't wanna fight. Let's just-" Joel was cut of by Ellie's boldness, despite Joel's wrinkled forehead and stingingly red eyes.

"Just what? Talk about it later?" Ellie's voice calmed, "Well fine. You can sleep outside." Ellie started to push Joel back into the door, causing him to lay his hands on her waist to stop her.

This kind of contact didn't feel right with Ellie, it felt too intimate, especially since it was Joel.  
>Before she new it, she was pressed right up against Joel. Her head semi-buried in his chest.<p>

"Ellie! Calm down!" Joel moved them away from the door. Ellie didn't like the position she put in but she also liked the idea of where Joel was going to move them.

"Why?! You don't love me! It's fine, you're happy!" It's funny how Ellie was total badass of the year when it came to clickers, hunters and psychopathic perverts called David, but with Joel she let her guard down, she only hoped for him to do the same. At least for her.

"Ellie, think of what'll happen. We hook up, someone finds out, and then we're out on the streets fighting god knows what all over again. Is that what you want?" Reasoning with Ellie was like crawling through barbed wire while someone rubbed shit and salt into the wounds. It was painful whenever Ellie took jabs at him, but only emotionally.

"Joel, you were there for me when David...did what he did. You were there to put a bullet in the man's skull, who had pinned against a wall. I just thought you did it for me and not just for a cure."

Joel was speechless. In that one moment, Ellie looked beautiful in his eyes. She cleary had the mental age as someone as old as him. It was hard seeing her as a child again.

"You think I did all of this for a cure? Killing hundreds to save a hundred? Who is there to save? Every one we've seen is so depraved that they can't go back. Once A killer, always a killer. For twenty years that's been my story, and you changed that. I did it because YOU wanted to. I could have stopped whenever I wanted if you weren't involved. So don't think I don't love you, but don't think you or I can ever show it." Joel cleared his throat, hoping he wasn't just imagining his speech.  
>"I'm sorry Ellie."<p>

"No you're not." Ellie's actions didn't synchronise with her statement, as she leapt towards him with all force, and planted a kiss on his lips. Ellie was hoping her first kiss would be romantic, not hateful.

"-Ellie!" Joel tore away from her lips to scold her. She looked up at him. The size comparison made Joel feel like Ellie couldn't accomplish anything. The way she looked at him, he new she was too young. Far too young for him.

"If I do this I'm no better than David or-" Joel could go on but Ellie stopped him. "Joel it's not all about you, you know? You've given me everything I asked for. When I was cold, you let me sleep with you. When I was hungry, you hunted for me. Why can't you give me this one thing?" Ellie's green eyes were getting even more red. They were burning.

"I want to. As much as I hate myself, I love you. Put yourself in my shoes. It pains me to even look at you and not have you. We're in Jackson now, and I can't imagine them taking this lightly." Joel was right. She wanted him so bad, but she loved the idea of living in a world with a huge amount of hostility gone.

"Fuck it. There's no use talking to you. I'm going to bed." Ellie turned and rolled her sleeve down to her palm and wiped her stinging eyes. "This ain't over. We'll talk in the morning." And with that Ellie left Joel in near complete darkness, completely speechless. _Usually I'm the one that ends it..._

Joel had no choice. He slept on the couch that night.

(Ellie)

She didn't want to look vulnerable in front of Joel. She had prove to him that she was a woman, despite her age. She was only a few months away from being fifteen but that would cut it.

She walked up the stairs and when she was out of Joel's view, she took her anger out in the bedroom door, charging into it shoulder first. The door gave but she didn't damage it. She could somehow feel Joel judging her. She slammed the door behind her and made her way to the bed, where she simply flopped down onto it. The pillows worked well for soaking up her tears as they streamed over and over until she was exhausted. She tried not making any noise but the occasional sniff came out. if Joel were at her door he would clearly be able to hear her.

The last few tears escaped as she slowly drifted into slumber. Joel better be gone out by the time she woke up.

The sun arose earlier then Ellie had. She raised her head and discovered she was still lying atop her bed still fully clothed. From the tears the night before and the cloth from the pillow made Ellie's eyes sting and burn. She felt like rubbing them but that would only make the situation worse.

Within minutes she was up and halfway down the stairs, hen she heard a faint buzzing sound followed by Joel cursing under his breath. Ellie regretted he actions but it was too late to go back. She made too much noise and her presence was noticed. _Shit. _

"Sorry Ellie. I didn't know you'd be up so early. I woulda gotten somethin' for breakfast." Joel tried to sound casual but that crashed and burned.

Ellie cleared her throat "That's okay..." She didn't know how to proceed from now onwards.

Joel sighed "Look I'm terrible at actin' casual. I know you hate my down to the bones right now..." _You can read my fucking mind..._

"What are you doing?" Ellie gestured to the radio Joel had been fiddling with.

He dismissed his current statement "I'm tryin' to fix this damn radio." He gave it a smack, thinking that would solve the issue.

"have you tried the batteries?" Ellie asked smugly. "No it runs on...Solar power, or some shit." He continued to click buttons and twist knobs but nothing.

"Give it here." Ellie snatched the device from him without consent. She popped open the battery compartment and gave him that "You-idiot-why-didn't-you-just-listen-to-me" look.

"Yeah well Tommy said it was solar powered..." Joel took it back from her. She just gave a _mm hm _noise to him at sat next to him.

"So...you workin' today?" Ellie didn't know what small talk meant but had a feeling this was going to be cringe worthy.

"Nope. I'm all yours-" There was a long silence as Joel realised what he said. It wasn't dirty or inappropriate but damn it was awkward.


End file.
